04.04.09
Posted in Books at 9:49 pm by TheStepfamilyLife
There’s a great article in Library Journal this month designed to help librarians comb the book shelves and provide good resources to help today’s modern blended families.The author confronts the Brady Bunch myth head-on:
Yet a Brady Bunch nation we are not for two reasons: 1) most stepfamilies don’t have the luxury of a live-in cleaning lady like Alice, and 2) stepfamily configurations go beyond the classic two adults who are legally married (or cohabitating) to share in parenting children from earlier relationships (and/or share children together). Things get complex with noncustodial stepfamilies, i.e., those with children from multiple relationships, gay and lesbian parents, situations where adults “step” in after the death of a parent (the origin of the term stepparent), and adult stepfamilies (those comprised of people who remarry after their children are grown).
Some sources hold that stepfamilies outnumber nuclear ones in the United States; if that’s not statistically true, it’s simply a matter of time before the latter becomes the minority. However one terms them, blended, binuclear, multi-, and stepfamilies are here to stay.
Check out the article, which offers short mini-reviews of several books to help stepfamilies.
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12.11.07
Posted in Books, Perspectives at 1:32 am by Dawn Miller
Scribe-in-arms, Karon Goodman has just published a new book, Stepping-Stones for Stepmoms: Everyday Strength for a Blended-Family Mom. I hope you enjoy this chat with Karon about her book:
What was your goal in writing the book?
Perhaps all of my books begin as therapy for me, and this one is no exception. Over my years of stepmothering, I’ve found great comfort and guidance in reliance on my faith, and as I corresponded with stepmoms everywhere, I found they had a similar need for God’s grace and direction in dealing with a less than perfect steplife. I want “Stepping Stones for Stepmoms” to help the reader trust God unafraid and allow Him to help her become the very best stepmom she can be. I want the book to be an inspiration to stepmoms, to give them comforting hope and practical help, and to let them know they’re not alone.
What types of challenges do stepmoms run into on the personal and spiritual levels?
It seems that no matter how much we prepare beforehand, stepmotherhood is full of unexpected and sometimes frightening challenges. We’re sometimes surprised by the feelings of fear, resentment, anger, guilt, jealousy — and the struggle to find our place in a new family. It can be tough to be instant mom-figure to kids who may or may not like the situation while trying to get a new marriage going strong. At the same time, stepmoms may be dealing with the criticism or ridicule of others or new family members who don’t share their faith. I think the best thing stepmoms can do for themselves is draw heavily on their trust in God and rest in His saving grace as they work to reflect Him to everyone else. It helps to remember that whatever didn’t turn out well today is another chance to learn and grow to make tomorrow better. Stepmothering is a great venue for learning how very big God is! How do you think the book helps stepmoms deal with their challenging family relationships?
Along with the obvious reliance on God are immediate and practical ways that stepmoms can address the situations and feelings they face every day, and the short chapters explore such challenges as insecurity, despair and impatience, joy, insight and gratitude. The book looks at these issues with a present and future perspective to help the reader both now and later. Our lives include a whole bunch of people, and we have little control over them and their choices. However, we make our lives better when we learn how to work within the considerable power and control we have in areas such as our responsibility, our honesty, our courage and our forgiveness. The book encourages stepmoms to always keep their integrity in dealing with others and to remember the goals they’ve set for themselves, always working to create a peaceful and stable home for their families.
Is there anything you wish you had included in the book, and weren’t able to include?
Of course, no book can address every issue or solve every problem, but I believe that “Stepping Stones for Stepmoms” is an inspiring and helpful guide for any stepmom. Ideally, it will provide immediate and specific help for the reader, empower her to make wise choices for herself and her family, and ultimately nourish her so that she can help and support the other stepmoms she meets. Stepmothering can feel like a very isolated world, so the more we learn, the more we can share with each other to make life better for ourselves and those who journey with us.
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