03.18.09
Stepmom Profiles: Holly, a Stepmom, Mom, and Military Spouse
Military.com columnist Anita writes admiringly about her friend Holly, a stepmom who is also a military spouse. She makes some interesting observations. Anita writes:
The fact that Holly is a step-mom certainly doesn’t define who she is, but it has been an important part of her life and something that taught her a lot about herself and her family.
Everyone in a stepfamily learns a great deal about compromise, sharing, and themselves. In many ways, i would say being a stepparent has led me to reflect on my own values and helped me grow as a person.
I’ve wondered things like: Do I believe the things I truly say I believe by living them out in my life and behavior? How can I be so self-centered? How do I put the needs of others ahead of my own? And why is it difficult sometimes to get myself to do that with things that seem so very trivial?
Anita writes about the negotiations that happen in many blended families raising children in dual households with differing values:
Holly made many adjustments and compromises with her step son, whom she has knows since he was 8 years old. Her step-son’s mom and Holly were completely different people with different parenting philosophies and there was friction at times. For example, he was allowed to do certain things at his mother’s house that weren’t allowed at Holly’s home. This resulted in some friction. However, Holly and her step-son learned to compromise and focus on the truly important stuff, letting some of the details slide.
Bravo to Holly for her role as a stepmom, mom, and military spouse, and to her friend Anita, for writing about her.
Amy said,
April 4, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I’ve always thought it would be so hard to be a stepmom AND military spouse at the same time. Bravo to Holly for sure!
jeanne said,
March 3, 2010 at 11:04 pm
i am 28 and i joined a military family of 3 boys. 2 going into the teens and a younger one around 7. dad is active duty but has not been deployed anywhere just yet. im glad that i had this time to become a family and to see what im up against once he is away. i take care of punishing the boys until i need dad to step in. we work well together. the middle son is one im having a hard time with. he has a huge heart and very loving. but he is very negative. im sure it was from his biological mom issues and dad getting divorced but he is. it sometimes scares me how it seems to him everyone is out to get him and nothing goes right. is this a phase that will pass. he is seeing someone that works with military and diviorce. any suggestions. we go to church and pray. this is new for them and they love it. we play family games and they have chores with allowence. rewards and there is punishing for not following the rules.