12.14.07

Blended Family Holiday Blues: Media Offer Tips & Advice

Posted in News at 7:20 am by Dawn Miller

The news media are providing more coverage this year of stepfamilies and their holiday juggling acts.  It’s still not nearly enough to help the millions out there dealing with blended family issues over the holidays, but here’s a few articles with advice and tips:

• Blending traditions not so easy -  Edmond Sun (Oklahoma), December 13, 2007
• Stressed stepfamilies during the holidays - KSFY (South Dakota), December 13, 2007
• Ask the therapist: How can I make the holidays happy for a new stepfamily? - Westport Minuteman (Connecticut), November 30, 2007
• Blended family holidays don’t have to be difficult - Garden City Telegram (New Jersey), November 27, 2007

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12.13.07

New Study - Married or Dating with Children

Posted in Research About Stepfamilies at 10:22 pm by Dawn Miller

This study is specifically examining how parent-child and parent-parent relationships in families are interrelated, and how factors like stress, optimism and support impact those relationships. While I will be recruiting people from a wide range of family structures for the study, I am hoping to specifically recruit a reasonable number of stepfamilies in the sample to help address the general lack of research on this growing type of family. I find the dynamics of a step-family to be extremely fascinating and I am hopeful that this project will help shed some light on the unique strengths and challenges of such families.The “Married (or Dating) with Children” Study
Requirements:
If you are currently: in a romantic relationship, a parent or step-parent with at least 1 child living in your house at least 3 days a week, and you are at least 18 years old.

1.Voluntary and anonymous
2.Can be completed online
3.Is SHORT (takes 15-20 minutes)
4.Will offer you extensive feedback on your personality and your relationship.

Take the survey now!

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12.11.07

Chat with Author Karon Goodman, Author of Stepping-Stones for Stepmoms

Posted in Perspectives, Books at 1:32 am by Dawn Miller

Scribe-in-arms, Karon Goodman has just published a new book, Stepping-Stones for Stepmoms: Everyday Strength for a Blended-Family Mom. I hope you enjoy this chat with Karon about her book:  

What was your goal in writing the book?
Perhaps all of my books begin as therapy for me, and this one is no exception. Over my years of stepmothering, I’ve found great comfort and guidance in reliance on my faith, and as I corresponded with stepmoms everywhere, I found they had a similar need for God’s grace and direction in dealing with a less than perfect steplife. I want “Stepping Stones for Stepmoms” to help the reader trust God unafraid and allow Him to help her become the very best stepmom she can be. I want the book to be an inspiration to stepmoms, to give them comforting hope and practical help, and to let them know they’re not alone.

What types of challenges do stepmoms run into on the personal and spiritual levels?
It seems that no matter how much we prepare beforehand, stepmotherhood is full of unexpected and sometimes frightening challenges. We’re sometimes surprised by the feelings of fear, resentment, anger, guilt, jealousy — and the struggle to find our place in a new family. It can be tough to be instant mom-figure to kids who may or may not like the situation while trying to get a new marriage going strong. At the same time, stepmoms may be dealing with the criticism or ridicule of others or new family members who don’t share their faith. I think the best thing stepmoms can do for themselves is draw heavily on their trust in God and rest in His saving grace as they work to reflect Him to everyone else. It helps to remember that whatever didn’t turn out well today is another chance to learn and grow to make tomorrow better. Stepmothering is a great venue for learning how very big God is! How do you think the book helps stepmoms deal with their challenging family relationships?
Along with the obvious reliance on God are immediate and practical ways that stepmoms can address the situations and feelings they face every day, and the short chapters explore such challenges as insecurity, despair and impatience, joy, insight and gratitude. The book looks at these issues with a present and future perspective to help the reader both now and later. Our lives include a whole bunch of people, and we have little control over them and their choices. However, we make our lives better when we learn how to work within the considerable power and control we have in areas such as our responsibility, our honesty, our courage and our forgiveness. The book encourages stepmoms to always keep their integrity in dealing with others and to remember the goals they’ve set for themselves, always working to create a peaceful and stable home for their families. 

Is there anything you wish you had included in the book, and weren’t able to include?
Of course, no book can address every issue or solve every problem, but I believe that “Stepping Stones for Stepmoms” is an inspiring and helpful guide for any stepmom. Ideally, it will provide immediate and specific help for the reader, empower her to make wise choices for herself and her family, and ultimately nourish her so that she can help and support the other stepmoms she meets. Stepmothering can feel like a very isolated world, so the more we learn, the more we can share with each other to make life better for ourselves and those who journey with us. 

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