06.12.07
Yours, Mine & Ours: Can One Kid Sabotage a Couple?
Entertaining story in the Globe & Mail about a common blended family dilemma - can the ire and animosity of one fickle child capsize a fledgling romantic relationship for Mom?
You betcha. A therapist and stepfamily expert offer helpful advice to our aspiring blended family, but says there’s hope that everyone will learn to get along:
“There is a reason that second marriages have a high rate of failure,” she says, “and that certainly can be because of kids.” Indeed, the situation with Cindy has set this relationship close to the breaking point. Boyfriend says that “it was a tough call for a while” when the problem started, as he increasing felt “not welcome in the family.”
“Remembering that it takes between two and five years for a blended family to gel can help couples stay balanced,” says Ms. Stephens. She also recommends “lowering your expectations that you’ll have a happily ever after family with a yours, mine and ours chemical formula.”
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Shannon said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:16 am
I am so happy to have found you. This site is exactly what I need as my new family just begins our life together. I’ve been hesitant about it, but I’m determined and I’m willing to work on it!
Sandy said,
July 28, 2007 at 8:31 pm
My boyfriend and I were extremely happy for the first 7 to 8 months, we were living together and it was the first time I had ever been in love. It was the most wonderful feeling of my life. Then his son came to live with us, (at my suggestion) now our relationship is over. I have a son as well whom he took in and paid close attention, and then both of us were just completely displaced. I have asked him to try and learn to incorporate all of us, however he thinks its just me.
I am so heartbroken, and we still live together but I dont know what to do at this point, Any suggestions.
Sandy
Renae said,
September 5, 2007 at 8:35 am
Just so you know you are not alone. I have the same thing going on in my house but I have two girls from a previous marriage and he has a son. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and I feel like every time that his son comes home from his mom’s house his son treats me and my girls like crap and my husband ignores me. Anything that has gone wrong in our house has been my girls’ or my fault according to my husband and it has been his son all along and he will not take a look at the big picture. His son has a bad habit of throwing tempertantrums here when his mom does not give him his way and vis verca. Both of his parents play right into his acts and I am sick of it and what scares me the most is neither of them see it and everyone else around does. I just wish that I could find away to get him to see what Josh is doing.