04.09.07

The Girls’ Day (and Night) of Fun

Posted in Dawn's Life at 8:40 am by Dawn Miller

One of my long-term (I hate to say old - we are not old - we are mid-30s) girlfriends from high school came to visit last weekend. When she called mid-afternoon on Friday to say the job fair was shutting down and she’d be getting back to the house early - I started bouncing around the house like a kindergartener on the last day of school.

In spite of the chilly weather, we headed out to Leesburg - a slice of smalltown Americana. We hunted in vain for the Leesburg Independent bookstore - it apparently closed or is moving - but we enjoyed the hunt and strolled the quaint streets. I bought adorable little Easter buckets for the skids at Mrs. Tate’s Bake Shop and Tea Room. They are teenagers - but I still think they should get something special for Easter. Heck, my Mom still mails me an Easter basket.

Next to the old-style theater - we stopped at Market Street Coffee - one of those wonderful independent coffee houses with art that oozes warmth and caffeine. We snared comfy armchairs next to the fireplace and chatted for an hour and a half. The talk turned to family life - and it struck me how very differerent our lives are. In high school we met in Latin Class ironically - and we lived together while I was in grad school and she was working. She went on to join the military and is now about to finish a graduate degree in international relations. She’s single and has tons of options in front of her.

I feel more tied-down than she is, but can’t say I really mind. I recently decided to put finishing my doctorate on hold for one more year because I can’t leave my family for four months during my stepdaughter’s senior year of high school. And unfortunately right now finishing means packing up and moving back to the University 700 miles away for four months this fall or spring - and I just can’t bear to be away from my family like that this year. This might be the last year she lives with us.

It’s amazing to me how my identity as a stepmom has shifted some of my priorities. I’m still the same person - an idealist who likes working with charities and thinks ordinary people can change things. I still love to write and do publicity. But my priorities have changed. A few years ago - saying that I was delaying my doctorate to spend time with my family would have sounded like sacrilege. Back home at the kitchen table - we stayed up late with my husband over a bottle or two of wine - enjoying the night and talking. It’s funny how you can see an old friend and just re-connect like time hasn’t passed.

We headed into Washington, DC on Saturday for “The Girls’ Day of Fun.” We wanted to see the Spy Museum, but tickets were sold out. Conveniently across the street, was the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery, so we headed inside to admire the presidential portraits (for history buffs - this was our idea of fun - I know, my stepchildren will call this - quite sad), including this lovely portrait of George Washington. We enjoyed a leisurely seafood lunch.

Then we walked over to the National Mall and visited the new(er) National Museum of the American Indian. The best thing we saw was their exhibit of dresses by Native American women. The beadwork and decoration was absolutely exquisite. I was blown by the exhibit and the voices of these women artists, and also fascinated with how they are applying their traditional artwork and beading to family life today. See the example at left of a dress, covered with elk teeth.

Completely tuckered out, we went home for a light dinner, and I started cooking for my planned Easter extravaganza. Easter dinner was a spread worthy of Martha Stewart. The skids bounced around even before the homemade cheesecake, but it was fun. My friend packed some ham sandwiches for the road, and headed back to the grad school grind. She emailed me later how much she enjoyed her trip, and didn’t realize until she got home how badly she needed some down time from her rapid fire routine of school and work.

With everyone gone - hubby and I took a 3 hour nap. All of that fun wore me out.

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04.04.07

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Posted in Dawn's Life at 10:26 am by Dawn Miller

Oprah has Gayle - I have Susan - my stepmom friend who offers a sympathetic ear. Stepmomhood is infinitely better with friends.

One of my old friends from high school is coming to visit today and driving in from the northeast. She’s about to finish grad school and is a finalist for a big fellowship - so she’s coming to DC to interview. I'’m so proud of her. 

She’s a grad student who works at Starbucks - and is staying through Easter weekend with us, so I like to cook good food when she visits. I know she lives on fast food and coffee most of the time. I’m making lasagna for dinner tonight. We’ll do Maundy Thursday dinner at church on Thursday night. Skids will be in and out the whole weekend probably and also around and eating.

Still haven’t figured out what to cook for Easter dinner. None of our family is big into ham - pushing the leftovers is always difficult. I’m a bit scared of lamb. Perhaps a nice beef roast will work. And I don’t know what the kids’ mom is doing for Easter dinner this year - so if she’s doing a big dinner at noon, then I might just do a big breakfast instead.

I am looking forward to some fun girl time for Saturday - maybe a stroll by the DC tidal basin cherry tress, or a visit to the national zoo’s baby panda. They say the storm today and accompanying cold snap will do in the cherry blossoms, but I’m hoping a few will stick around.

 

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04.02.07

The Munchies: Keeping Our Food Consumption in Check

Posted in News at 12:33 pm by Dawn Miller

Half of the ads broadcast during TV shows for kids are for food, and tweens see more than 20 ads per day. These new revelations come from the Kaiser Family Foundation, a well-respected group that did extensive research and you can read more about the report. Everyone who cares about kids, should be interested in this report and efforts to curb food marketing to our kids.

The targeting of children by the advertising industry creates even more demand for treats - and far too many of us buy right into it. With schools clamping down on junk food availability - the reality is that our kids are getting this food from us.

I have to admit, I was more than happy to bribe my stepchildren with homemade cookies to like me early in our marriage. And I bought the occasional kid favorite snack to keep on hand when my stepkids were around.

I love to bake and am not a confident cook. A few of my dinners were bona-fide flops - so I leaned on my baking talent to crank out desserts. As I was trying to build a relationship with my stepchildren, I would often work in the kitchen and bake, and talk with my stepkids.

The natural rhythm of baking allowed for lots of pauses so I could talk with them. Sometimes they would help me roll out the dough or mix, but often they would just hang around or be nearby doing homework, chatting on IM, or surfing the Internet. Baking gave me an excuse to be in the kitchen and observe them, but without being in their face about it. And they seemed interested in what I was doing.

I wouldn’t want to change those experiences, but if I could go back, I probably would decrease the volume of stuff I made so there weren’t as many treats lying around. And I wouldn’t have kept as many kid favorites in the pantry. My husband was diagnosed with high cholesterol last year, so we changed our diet in radical ways to bring down his numbers. The snacks and yummies in the cupboard were banished. Much to my surprise, the kids went along with the diet change with minimal complaining, because they love their dad and we were upfront with them about why we needed to make those changes.

With his numbers down now, we enjoy the occasional treat - but it’s definitely not the volume it used to be. Now I generally only bake desserts for holidays and our regular “family dinner” - a night when we all gather at the table to share a meal and talk. And much of my baking effort these days is focused on my brother who is a U.S. solider in Iraq - I trot to the post office every two weeks with a package of homemade cookies to mail to him.

Now my stepkids ask before they eat a cookie - is this going to Iraq? If yes, they don’t eat it.

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