04.30.07

Edline: A New Tool to Help Families Track School Progress

Posted in Dawn's Life, News at 10:12 am by Dawn Miller

Although it is apparently the bane of existence for teens, I was happy to read this morning in the Washington Post about Edline, a service that lets families track the daily progress of a student. You can go online to find out about your child’s daily quizzes and school progress.

In many stepfamilies, communication about school issues can be difficult. Report cards can be lost or withheld, and contribute to conflict between households. A shifting custody schedule means that even if you helped a child study for a test, you might not find out the end result for a week. Getting report cards out of my husband’s kids and his ex-wife has not always been easy for us. I’ve offered tips to help stepfamilies communicate more effectively with schools.

A service like Edline offers a new tool for families seeking to be involved in their children’s lives and schooling. Instead of waiting for the report card to arrive crumpled and in the bottom of a backpack, you can log onto a website and track their progress on a daily basis. Like any tool, micro-managing a child’s education can be overdone and taken to an unhealthy extreme, but the Edline service may take some stress out of school communication and help families be more involved in their children’s lives.

Permalink 2 Comments

04.27.07

Stepmothers: A Researcher Wants to Hear From You!

Posted in Research About Stepfamilies at 1:49 pm by Dawn Miller

If you’re a stepmother, you are invited to take an online survey about your family situation and feelings on career and relationships.

Responses will be anonymous, and are being collected by Amanda DeSio, a doctoral candidate at the State University of New York - Buffalo. She will be using the results for her doctoral dissertation.

Participating in professional research like this helps improve services, advocacy, and support for stepfamilies - so take the survey today.

Permalink 1 Comment

04.24.07

George, Martha & Angelina: A New Mate Seeks Acceptance

Posted in News at 6:16 pm by Dawn Miller

I was surprised to open up the Washington Post metro section a while ago to read a tongue-in-cheek story on the saga of George, Martha, and Angelina - three bald eagles who have captured the attention of our nation’s capitol. As the story goes, George and Martha were life-long mates and produced 16 eaglets. They earned their names and much media attention from the fact that they nested happily each year amid the gynormous cacophony of the Wilson Bridge construction project.

The eagles and their love triangle have provided much melodrama for the bridge construction workers. A younger eagle, dubbed Angelina by the reporter (the bridge workers haven’t yet reached a consensus on her name - opting for Angelina, Camilla, and Charlotte the Harlot), attacked Martha mid-air, and injured her. The attack made national headlines, and Martha recovered at a rescue facility and rejoined her beloved George - a delightfully fairy-tale ending. But she flew into some power lines, broke an elbow joint in her wing, and was euthanized in October. The Wilson Bridge project even has a photo memoriam to Martha on its website, in addition to a press release.

Now alone - George the widower has apparently found a new mate in Angelina - but he’s moving on a little too soon for the construction workers nearby, who have their feathers ruffled about the whole thing. The bridge spokesperson, who is having a ball commenting on the love lives of three eagles, stated that George and Angelina are courting. They started out sitting near each other, and now sit in the nest together. Apparently though, they have not yet produced any eggs - George is taking his time.

Even bloggers have noted that the construction workers will need to make their peace with George’s new mate apparent, and Anorak has commented on the cultural overtones being used to describe the love triangle.

Permalink Comments

Dealing with Picky Eaters: Helping Our Kids Eat Better

Posted in Dawn's Life at 5:52 pm by Dawn Miller

Dealing with picky eaters is a logistical challenge moms and stepmoms alike are familiar with. When I first became a stepmom a few years ago, I got my very own picky eater - my middle stepson, who is now 19.

This kid won’t eat spaghetti, lasagna or anything in a casserole. He eats lettuce, ranch dressing, pizza, hamburgers, chicken, steak, french fries, a particular flavor of ramen noodle, bread, pancakes, bacon, candy, potato chips, ice cream, cookies, and cake. He recently added mashed potatoes to his repertoire. Forget the fancy veggies, fruit, seafood of any variety, or funky salads.

I’ve developed a repertoire of menus that I can cook and generally keep everyone happy, but because of our picky eater, certain things just aren’t cooked the nights he is over for dinner. And I know he’s not getting the right mix of foods in his diet. So what’s a stepmom to do - other than nag?

I’ve gotten him to try one or two new things - but I don’t think I’ve done enough to encourage healthy eating with my stepchildren. And I’m not alone. The Washington Post’s Sally Squires wrote today about efforts to help children eat healthier food. She mentioned several efforts by school districts to clear the junk food off the menu.

The Kids Health website offers doctor-approved advice on all sorts of children’s health issues, including fitness and nutrition. There’s also recipes for kids who are home alone afterschool, and for kids who have celiac disease, diabetes, cystic fibrosis, or lactose intolerance. The federal government in the U.S. revised the trusty food pyramid, and the pyramid website offers advice on what we should be eating through a personalized plan. For younger kids, the site also includes a simplified pyramid flier and poster.

Permalink 3 Comments

04.21.07

New Website Design Goes Live: Your Feedback Wanted

Posted in Dawn's Writing, BlogWeb Notes at 12:06 am by Dawn Miller

Thanks to my darling hubby aka “The Reason” (as in he’s the reason why I’m a stepmom), TheStepfamilyLife.com has a brand new look on its main home page. Stop by and check out our new streamlined look. You can even compare the new page with the old one before “The Reason” started messing with it.

It was a tough job. There were hundreds of files loaded with rotten html code to deal with when we started the re-design process. And I was not the most cooperative client. While I wanted a more professional-looking site that better serves the needs of stepfamilies - I had managed the site without his graphic expertise for four years - and I was not keen on switching software and messing up the navigational structure. And I still grouse a bit about the advertising - but, hey, even a diva like me has to pay the bills. I soon saw the benefits of the new structure, and definitely like the improved look.

We will be integrating the new look throughout the website over the next couple of weeks. Be patient, as you’ll see our new duds and widgets roll out in phases, and there may be additional tweaking in store for our graphics. If you’ve got comments about the new look or suggestions for our site, leave us a comment.

Permalink 1 Comment

04.20.07

New York Times: Stepfamilies Can Face Housing Challenge with Creativity

Posted in News at 4:19 pm by Dawn Miller

The New York Times ran a great story yesterday about housing challenges faced by stepfamilies. Several of the families profiled used creative ways to expand their space and give each family member a sense of privacy. Here’s a clip from the story:

Age, personality, privacy, full- or part-time residency and even sexuality can add to the emotional and architectural complexity. “Visiting children need a place in the house that’s theirs so they have a sense of belonging,” said Francesca Adler-Baeder, director of the National Stepfamily Resource Center at Auburn University. That does not necessarily mean a bedroom. For many families, providing a separate area for each child is not affordable or even logical, because a room that is sealed off and useless much of the time is wasted space.

Thanks to reporter Kate Murphy for spotlighting stepfamilies and practical solutions for housing dilemmas.

Permalink Comments

04.19.07

Resources for Parents & Stepparents: Talking to Our Children About Violence

Posted in News at 9:34 am by Dawn Miller

Permalink Comments

04.16.07

Tragedy at Virginia Tech

Posted in News, Perspectives at 10:07 pm by Dawn Miller

Today’s tragedy at Virginia Tech University with 33 people dead and more than 15 wounded, has stunned us all with its senseless brutality and horror. It’s the worst shooting massacre in the history of our country, and this “College Columbine” has left all of us saddened and somber.

For many, college is the first solid flight from and nudge out of the protective parental nest. We send our children off with hope for the future, and we picture a university as a safe place where they encounter new ideas and people. We obsess over finding extra long sheets for the dormitory, stocking up on cooking utensils, and buying the right parking pass.

When we sent my oldest stepson off to college we worried that he might party too much or hate his major. We were so worried about the potential for fire in the rickety apartment he rented on an avenue known for post-game celebrations – that we gave him two smoke alarms, a fire extinguisher, and a rope escape ladder.

As parents, we fret over what we can control, because we don’t want to admit that we are really worried about the factors in our children’s lives that are completely out of our hands. We know that try as we might - we can’t keep them safe.

None of us want to imagine the unthinkable - that a young life filled with promise and potential could be snuffed out in an instant with horrific brutality and violence. For some families today – those nightmares have come true – their children are gone – lost to a madman’s rampage. They deserve our sympathy and support in what will be trying and grief-stricken days to come.

There should be and will be lots of discussion about what happened today in Blacksburg. There have already been timelines and speculation about who knew what when, and accusatory security experts pointing fingers in hindsight, amid a media spotlight. They are discussions that we need to have – and are obligated to have. But it’s ultimately a futile discussion.

All our investigations will never help us really understand the brutality of what happened in Blacksburg today. There’s something unfathomable about it, as we struggle to make sense of what can’t be understood.

We expect for violence to happen in war-torn Iraq, not on a college campus. I worry reflexively far more about the safety of my brother in Baghdad, than I do about my stepson in an off-campus apartment in a college town.

In times like these we need to cling to what’s important in life. After we heard about the shootings this morning at Virginia Tech, we called my stepson at college just to hear his voice and know that he’s ok. Fearful of a copycat incident in the days ahead, his dad asked him to be extra careful while going to class and on campus. He’ll be careful he says, and reassures us that he’s ok.

We wish so many others could have the same conversations with their children. Our thoughts and prayers are with them tonight.

Permalink 1 Comment

04.12.07

Katie Holmes & Nicole Kidman: Stepmom & Bio-Mom Get Along

Posted in Stepmom Profiles at 5:55 pm by Dawn Miller

The word on celebrity blogs is that Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman are swapping parenting advice about Isabella, 14, and Conner, 12. Since her marriage to Tom Cruise, Katie has often been photographed at her stepchildren’s soccer games, cheering them on alongside their dad.

Reportedly, Isabella called Katie to discuss a dress she wanted to wear to a party. Katie felt the dress was too grown-up for her, but Isabella said that her mom had ok’ed the dress. Every stepmom now nods with a smile - oh yes, we’ve seen that strategy before!

Katie called Nicole directly to discuss it, and Nicole agreed with her - sorry Bella, no too grown-up dress for the party this time.

Permalink 2 Comments

04.10.07

OK, So I Screwed Up My Website With a Picture…or Two….or Three

Posted in BlogWeb Notes at 8:42 pm by Dawn Miller

Well as you may have noticed, this blog feeds into my main website on TheStepfamilyLife.com. In my quest to “make it pretty” I added some pictures - three pictures to be exact - to an earlier post. Unfortunately, this messed up the main home page on TheStepfamilyLife.com because the picture sizing affected everything there.

Hubby the web designer is not happy about this and suggests that the next time I want to “make it pretty” I consult his expertise. ooohhh…..kay.

Ahhh….the good old days back when I managed my own website - granted it looks better most of the time now - and my site has some new cool functions. But oh for the good old days….

Permalink 1 Comment