03.29.07

The Quest for an “Ours” Baby: Time to go to Plan B or C

Posted in Dawn's Life at 9:58 am by Dawn Miller

We found out yesterday from the doctor’s office that while live troops were still found in the encampment - the troops aren’t making it through the pipeline for deployment. Ergo - why we’re not pregnant.

The doctor offered to meet with us, but my husband wanted to break the bad news to me first. I didn’t cry - just looked at him and said, ok, well, now we know, and at least we know. And even now, I don’t really feel like crying about it, which is surprising to me. I would think I would boo-hoo about it.

Doing the vasectomy reversal was still worth it for us, and I don’t regret it.

It’s time for plan B - and maybe even plan C. If we want to have a baby together - it will have to come out of a test tube. Or we will adopt a baby.

I hate the idea of becoming those desperate people - the ones you see on TV shows who try to adopt a baby and have the mother change her mind and take it away after they’ve loved that child and nurtured him/her for years - or the ones who go through fertility treatments over and over and go bankrupt. I hate the idea of being those stereotypical people - being a desperate and obsessed person - becoming a caricature of myself.

We can’t conceive a child together - at least not in the usual way. So there is some desperation to our situation, to be sure. But there is also much love - between us - that shows who we are - and who we hope to be in our marriage. We’ve turned toward each other through this. And we’re stronger for it.

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3 Comments »

Diane said,

March 29, 2007 at 9:34 pm

Hey there, glad you shared this.

My husband and I are looking into adoption. Not because we cannot have one. But more because I feel like I would rather adopt and take in someone I can love and adore. These are my own personal feelings of course.

Meanwhile, I have two anxious stepsons who are curious when this will be happening as they say ‘they are tired of each other’. And the younger of the two, would like to hold a baby.
Dawn Miller said,

March 29, 2007 at 9:59 pm

Thanks Diane for your kind words. I have a lot of affection for adoption too. Families run much deeper than biology. One of my stepkids has also asked when this whole baby thing might happen - she seems to be both interested and supportive of the whole process.
Jeanie said,

April 12, 2007 at 8:14 pm

Best of luck as you pursue options. There are many good reproductive endocrinologists out there–I talked to a few before I chose mine (Who is a gem!) As you can imagine, IVF is no picnic–I have gone through 2 failed ones and am gearing up for #3. I am sure you will go into any of your options with eyes wide open and I only hope for the best for you and your family.

TheStepfamilyLife - The Blended Family Blog

03.29.07

The Quest for an “Ours” Baby: Time to go to Plan B or C

3 Comments »

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