Mother’s Day this year was unique for us. My oldest stepson graduated from college that morning. We were bursting with pride when his name was called and he walked across the stage. My husband had tears in his eyes, and I watched the pomp and circumstance through a zoom lens, determined to capture as much as possible for posterity.

I caught with a few clicks his happy face as he started across the stage. As his professor presented him with his diploma and a hug, he gave her an overly-melodramatic peck on the cheek, which caught her by surprise. Her mortarboard hat fell off, and the audience laughed. Part me of wanted to call out, oh no, don’t do that, but I had to chuckle a little as I clicked away. Because it was all 100% pure him. It was so typical for him to celebrate a capstone moment in his life in such an exuberant and public way.

His embrace of life has always been something that I have admired about him. He was a kid who graduated from high school and wasn’t sure what to do, so he went to community college. He worked two jobs every summer to save money, and went away to a four-year school in another state for a degree in broadcast journalism.

Here’s a couple of things we learned:

Let your student learn his/her own lessons from life. Thankfully, none of us became helicopter parents, swooping in to rescue him from the tiniest thing that went wrong. If he got up late and missed class, it was his fault, and he knew it. There was no morning wake-up call from us or reminder to study. I might have been completely grossed out by his apartment (thank goodness my sweet husband let me have the job of guarding the car while it was being loaded when he moved out so I don’t have to walk in there a lot), but it was completely his own.

We stay in touch, but try not to butt into his life too much. Surprisingly, thirty percent of college students communicate with their parents once per day, and 73% do so 2-3 times per week using the phone or email, according to a survey by the College Parents of America earlier this year. The University of Wisconsin at Madison has even started a special outreach program just for parents who can’t let go of their children when they enter college.

Celebrate their success. When he landed a story on the weekly news show produced by his university, he would eagerly call us to relay the news. We would download his broadcast from the Internet, and he’d want to know our opinion of his work. I felt a bit guilty when he called one night to ask if we’d seen his latest story, and I admitted that we hadn’t watched it yet. We promptly watched it and called him. He was happy to hear our voices on the line.

When he walked across the stage at graduation – we were thrilled. It was a moment for all of us. A happy moment – his dad, his mom, his brother, his sister, and me.

Dawn Miller writes a column on life in blended families at thestepfamilylife.com. 
Visit Dawn's blog for a daily dose of life in the blender.
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